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Expert Q&A
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| By Betsy Buckley Adoption Expert Author | ||
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I am the parent of a 2-year-old son. He was adopted right from the hospital. I was wondering if you had any advice on how to tell him that he is adopted and how I should go about it. I'm not sure if he is too young right now to understand what it means. We keep telling him how special he is, but I don't think he understands what we mean. Can you help?
I can empathize with your concern about telling your son in the best manner about being adopted. I am assuming that you and he are of similar races, but please correct me if I am wrong. I also am not sure if you have privacy laws pertaining to your adoption that would restrict the amount of information you will eventually be able to tell him.
Many adoptive parents whom I interviewed made this first adoption discussion with their young ones easier by selecting books to read to them about adopting. If you haven't already, I would suggest this approach at this age. I suggest searching through one of the many dozens of children's books offered by Tapestry Book Catalogue to find one or two that most closely approximates your adoption situation. Telling him he is special is a wonderful, loving thought, but it does not grant him enough meaning to his family situation, which I believe he is ready to hear in this context. Good luck!
As a parent to an 8-year-old son and 6-year-old daughter, these early "discussions" were very simple for my husband and myself. As your son matures, I suggest letting him come to you with questions. Later, honest, open discussions (and there will be and should be many) about how he joined your family helps to strengthen understanding and trust."
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