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Expert Q&A

	By Mardie Caldwell Adoption Expert, Author

I am a single, professional woman in my early 20s. I cannot have children on my own. Since I was 18, I knew I would be adopting. I want to start saving and planning for this event, but my parents and friends think I am starting too soon, and that I should wait to see what my "future husband" thinks about all of this. Regardless of what they say, I know what I want. I just need somebody to point me in the right direction – both financially and emotionally. If I want to adopt in five years, what should I be doing now to get the "ball rolling"?

Well, you sound like a woman with a mission and determination, and that is a good place to be. I applaud you for your passion toward adoption. It is very refreshing to see a woman of your age with this quality. It is never too early to start a savings account, and since you have started one already, it sounds like saving has become a habit. This is a good step for any parent considering adoption at any time.

You don't say how much you have saved or how much you are saving monthly. I would recommend starting with a minimum of $50 or $100 per month. The easiest way to do this is to have it taken from your paycheck and placed into an interest-bearing account. Research the type of account this should be for you and for your tax bracket with an investment advisor or your banker.

On the emotional side of adoption, it would help to read some current books on adoption, and the library is the best and most affordable way to start. If you find a book you like, you can then buy your own copy. Consider my book www.AdoptingOnline.com (Amer Carriage House, 2004), a complete guide to adoption. It should be available at your library or bookstore, or they can order it for you.

The second step is to speak to other adoptive parents. If you have time to volunteer to help at an agency, foster home or a big sister program, working around children is helpful. I have also recommended to other prospective parents that they consider volunteering in the nursery at their church or synagogue. This gives you practice with little ones, and the experience with children looks good in your Dear Birth Mother letter when the time comes.

When it comes to a future husband, you will of course want to bring this topic up with anyone you are serious about. There are warm and caring men out there that will have the same passion you do. Don't settle for someone that doesn't share your love of children. Be sure he has many similar interests and loves you for your "determined personality." Don't give up your adoption dream, and keep focused on the goal."

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