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Expert Q&A
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| By Chris Crutcher Author, Licensed Child and Family Therapist | ||
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I want to adopt, but my husband isn't interested. He says we have three biological children already, and that an adopted child would always feel inferior to them. How can I argue that?
You probably can't argue it if he wants to believe it. His is an argument meant to not do it. I can tell you this: The child will feel a lot more inferior if no one adopts him or her. There are therapists who work through or with adoption agencies who address just this issue. Your husband may be thinking he couldn't love an adopted child like he loves his own, and that would be an issue to explore – and for yourself as well. But like I said, the adoption process has been around for a long time, and there are people who can address the issues that come with it. In fact, I know a number of adopted kids who feel special because they were chosen. If your husband is interested in really pursuing this, I'd talk with one of them."
Related Expert Q&A
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More Answers by this Expert
- We recently moved into a new neighborhood, and my 8-year-old son has made friends with the 13-year-old boy next door. They share a common interest in sports, but I am reluctant to encourage the friendship because of the age difference. What should I do?
- Should I wait to tell my son about his complicated adoption until he is 18?
- My husband says an adopted child will feel inferior to our biological children. How can I argue that?
- Some classmates are teasing my son, and I am worried my son will gain a negative image of our family and adoption. What should I do?
- My daughter is getting married and she wants both her adoptive dad – my husband – and her biological father involved. How do I guide her in this? How do we word things on the program?