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Expert Q&A
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| By Christine Adamec Adoption Expert | ||
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I am 14. I will be 15 on the 24th of February. I was just wondering how old I have to be to meet my birthparents.
Adoption laws vary considerably from state to state. In at least 21 states, information will be provided by the state to adults in "mutual consent registries," when both the birthparent and adopted adult register. The definition of "adult" varies and may be 18 or 21 or even older, depending on the state. In a handful of states (Alaska, Hawaii, Kansas, Oregon and Tennessee), original birth certificate information will be provided to adopted adults. Again, the definition of "adult" varies, but you safely assume that a person who is age 15 is not considered an adult.
If your adoptive parents know who your birthparents are and they want to arrange a meeting, it's possible that they may be able to do so now or soon, although they may feel that such a meeting would be better if it occurred in adulthood rather than in adolescence. However, they may have no idea of the identities of your birthparents, as is true of many adoptive parents.
There are organizations, such as the International Soundex Reunion Registry in Carson City, Nevada, that will match minor children with birthparents who have registered if the adoptive parents register the child. This might be an option to consider now. Go to that site at www.isrr.net.
Keep in mind that although birthparents often want to meet children they placed for adoption, for a variety of reasons there are still some birthparents who don't want to meet. In addition, studies have shown that the happiest adopted adults who meet their birthparents are those who met them out of curiosity rather than for a desire for the birthparents to solve all their problems and make their lives suddenly wonderful.
You can read more about adoption reunions in my book, The Complete Idiot's Guide to Adoption."
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