 | Diary Navigation:
|
November 18, 2002
As my little one sleeps in his swing, I am overwhelmed by how lucky I am to be his mother. I went back and reread the entries in my Precon diary that centered on his birth and I was once again astounded by the decision that his birth parents made concerning his life. So some days I might feel possessive of him and might want to tell his birth family that they cannot have a piece of him. But deep at heart I know that I will remain in this relationship as difficult as it is at times because it is the best thing for Patrick. I mailed his bio-mom a letter and pictures of his christening. This will probably mean that she will call, that has been the pattern in the past. She will probably be angry that we baptized him without her there but I still stand by our decision.
I am trying to get Patrick’s pictures done for Christmas. I have been on a perpetual search for a cute holiday sweater for him but I cannot find one. It is so frustrating! There are tons of adorable holiday dresses for little girls and hardly anything for little boys. The stuff that does exist is truly ugly or cheesy. So I do not know what I am going to do, probably put him in his jean jacket (that I LOVE) and get the picture over with! I need to get them done so that I can get them back in time to mail them in the Holiday cards.
I am starting to hate the holidays. It is always a perpetual battle over which family gets more time. We have spent the last couple of Christmases with Brian’s family(because Mom didn’t want us) so this year we are going to my Mom’s house. That is not the problem but my Mom is. No matter how much time we spend with her it is not enough. We are going to be there for a week and she is mad that afterward we are going to Brian’s parents’ house. This is the first Christmas with their only grandchild! I am not going to tell them sorry send the presents! Pleas.! She is mad because we are going there for Thanksgiving too. She chose to have us at Christmas so she will have to live with that decision. Anyway her whole life is wrapped up in my sister Melissa and her children so most of the time she doesn’t have time for anyone else in the family. We will call and she will say, “Is this an emergency because I have to do something with....” She is so rude to me. I was really upset over Patrick being sick last week and she told me that my niece had a basketball game and she would call me back. She has not done it yet.. She absolutely ignores my brother who is having a terrible time right now dealing with her old house. He is going in debt trying to make life easier on her and she can’t give him the time of day. She is horribly mean to my niece Ashleigh who had the gall to grow up and not want to spend her whole summer with her Grandma and instead got a job! She pisses me off so much! She also KNOWS that we are in a financial bind but told me that I better get Melissa’s kids good gifts or I am in trouble. Within the same conversation she says but don’t expect much from us because we don’t have much extra $. Sometimes I just want to cut her out of our lives but I don’t!
We found a way to order Patrick’s formula directly from the manufacturer so that saves us about $5 a can. Any little bit helps! I tried to get his Pediatrician to write us a letter for the insurance company and she said no she was not going to waste her time since they do not cover formula. Also, she will not give us a referral to the Pediatric GI specialist so insurance will not cover it. I have had a frustrating week!
However, Patrick is a joy! He is so cute and I just adore him! He has started to want to cuddle with me in bed. I ay down beside him and he snuggles into my chest and goes to sleep. I do not let him do this all night but after his early morning feeding we do this. SO I have once again started something that I told myself that I would never do. I said no pacifiers–he sucks on his constantly. I said no kids in the bed- he is already in ours. I said children will not affect my sex life- HA! I hope that I will at least stick to a few of my ideas!
 |  |
|
want to keep a diary on iParenting?
Authoring a diary on the iParenting network allows you to chronicle your family's story, preserving it for years to come. It's also a great way to get the most out of the iParenting community. Click here to start...
|
The iParenting Media Awards program helps parents find the best products for their families. 
