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January 8, 2003
A week from today should be the end of the legal side of our adoption. I cannot believe that it has been 6 months already. It seems like just yesterday we brought Patrick home. Yet at the same time, it feels like a lifetime ago. I hardly remember what it was like to not have him with us. Sometimes I do long for the day when I could run out in the snow and howling wind to get something as trivial as a Twix candy bar. I just can’t do that now. I think to myself, ”Is this chocolate craving worth your child catching pneumonia?” However, I would give up chocolate forever if it meant that I could have more time with Patrick.
I used to wonder about people who said that they were in love with their child. It kind of sounds shady to be in love with your child. TO love them sure but IN love with them? But now I totally know what they are saying. I just am amazed by my feelings for him. I have been trying to sleep train him to fall asleep in his crib and so what I am going to tell you is wrong, wrong, wrong! Yesterday he just would not go to sleep, I tried and tried but he just lay in his crib and cried. So finally I got him out of the crib and was holding him in my arms. He snuggled into my arms and gazed up at my face with utter content. He spent a few moments playing with my face and hair and then fell asleep in my arms. I told myself to go out him in the crib but I couldn’t. How long am I going to be able to hold him in my arms? Soon he is going to refuse to let me hold him. I wanted to enjoy him...so I did. I held him until my arms fell asleep and I did not care.
I got some copies of March’s edition of Pregnancy Magazine. We got in! Though they spelled my name wrong, I do not care. We are there in print telling the world that adoption is a viable option for parenting. I hope that our story opens a few minds about adoption. There is still so much negative feelings toward adoption and I think that it is our duty as adoptive families to tell them the truth. It does work...we are a legitimate families...that we should be accepted as such.
Well, Patrick has decided to take a half hour nap instead of the hour that he needs. I will update you as soon as we are officially, legally and forever more Patrick’s parents!
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