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June 23, 2004
We started our adoption procedures almost 2 years ago. Due to the bureaucratical BS of a County agency we are just now getting to the personal interviews. So far I have sat down with the Social Worker for 4 separate interviews. Wow, what an intense process. We had a good social worker but due to past experience we were leery. We just finished all the questions yesterday and she says it should be the end of July when she has the complete home study done. At least at that point we can go out of county for other options. We are also in the process of trying to get pregnant again through Artificial Insemination. As if all of that were not enough I am getting ready to reunite with my middle daughter in August.
I have been envisioning my reunion with Marie for along time now. I reunified with my oldest last year but knew that this one would be different. This one would hold the key to so much of the past 14 years. My oldest Nicole can be drama. She always has been even when we were together. That has not changed any over the years. So I knew to take our reunion one day at a time. The year since has been wonderful getting to know her again but I still have not gotten a sense of how their lives have been over the past years. So when I pictured my reunion with Marie it was with my longtime friend Cathy, my partner Stina and the adoptive parents. The problem comes in that Stina does not want to go. She says she’s not ready to meet them. I just don’t understand this and am having a hard time with it.
I had thought we would go up to Washington and have a reunion then go up into Canada with my daughter and partner and play tourists for a couple of days. My daughter was all for this and is really disappointed that she may not get to meet my other half. I just truly don’t understand what the issue really is in her going up there with me. I want her there for support but also and more importantly to share this wonderful occasion in my life. Its not like my kids have all of a sudden appeared in my life. They have been in it for the entire time Stina and I have been together. I have never made a secret of the fact that one day they will be back in my life and share it with her. She has been ok with that until now. I don’t feel like she is jealous just scared. In a way I feel hurt because I go to visit her Mother when I don’t really want to because she wants me there for support (her Mom does not like me or our relationship). I will keep you posted on how it turns out.
As far as fostering goes all is calm and quiet. Our 15yr old goes to camp for a couple of weeks this summer so she has fun and we get a much needed break. We get absolutely no support from DSS with and the issues we are dealing with. Stina was on the phone with the social worker and walked in on FD while she was cutting herself. The social worker did nothing. NOTHING. We took her to our family therapist and are going to family counseling at our expense. We wrote a contract in which she a promise to not hurt herself but this has been all on us. We are a bit frustrated with the whole thing. Things have calmed down since school is out because she is not around her friends. Ugh. Life is so full for us. We have a soccer tournament this weekend so wish us luck. 5 games in two days. Hopefully I can walk on Monday. Take care and I will update you all soon.
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