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Who Am I?
The Importance of Racial and Cultural Identity
By Michele St. Martin
Beth Hall, an expert on transracial adoption, says it's crucial for those who are parenting across racial lines to realize how different their child of color's experience will be from their own "white experience." Hall is also the Caucasian parent of two transracially adopted children. She says it's normal for those parenting transracially to be disappointed that they can't do everything for their child.
Families who make their child's culture an important part of their everyday life and seek help with their children's cultural education give their children important tools. "It's not about me learning everything about my child's culture," Hall says. "You can't teach culture second-hand. Be in touch with other people who are the same race/ethnicity as your child. Once you become a parent, it's always about how to get what your child needs. You never have all the answers."
Hall advises parents that culture is more than ethnic festivals and holidays. "Culture is a lived, breathed thing," she says. "There's not just one way to 'be' a certain ethnicity. And look for the message you send to your child. Who are you intimate with? Who comes to dinner?" She says parents should "become opportunistic. You may now have more in common with families of color."