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Artificial Twins
Is This Adoption Option for You?
By Cynthia Peterson
The boys will attend different preschools to help promote autonomy and to address the specific needs of each child. As they grow older we will consider the continued possibility of separate schooling, different grade placements or, at the very least, different classrooms to minimize questions of parentage, birth order and developmental comparisons made by peers and school staff.
While I would never predispose to dictate how, when or why potential adoptive parents add to their family, as parents of "artificial twins," I would suggest that careful research and consideration for the welfare of the children be the focus before a decision is made regarding dual placement.
Tom and Rhonda Pietrowski, adoptive parents of two boys born six weeks apart from Bend, Ore., suggest having lots of honest conversations about how much time you have before adopting. "Can one of you stay home? What is your support system like?" Rhonda Pietrowski says. "You're going to need all the help you can get. Most importantly, how do you handle stress?" She also recommends joining a local parents of multiples club for encouragement, support and information.
Parenting anyone, adopted or not, close in age or years apart, is challenging on its best days. If you find that "artificial twinning" suits your family, then what the adoptive community (or anyone else for that matter) thinks about your choice is of no importance. If your children are loved and individuality is encouraged and supported, you have done your job as parents well.