- my iParenting
- quick clicks
- iparenting adoption articles
- iparenting adoption q&a
- community & groups
- research baby names
- prepare a birth plan
- content channels
- ip channel rss feeds
- read birth stories
- read parenting stories
- recommended books
- e-newsletters
- safety recalls
- ip diaries
- ip store
- mom of the month
- dad of the month
- editor's letter
- letters to the editor
From Our Sponsors
- e-newsletters
- Sign up to receive our free weekly e-newsletters
- award-winning products
The iParenting Media Awards program helps parents find the best products for their families.
While You Are Waiting
An Excerpt From Adopting a Toddler: What Size Shoes Does She Wear?
By Denise Harris Hoppenhauer
While you are waiting to complete the adoption of your child, there are many things that you can do to occupy your time. Staying active will – at least in theory – help the time pass more quickly.
Actually, this is probably an adoption myth. We all know once we accept a referral, we can't wait to get our hands on the little fellow, and no amount of busywork can truly take away that longing. While you are waiting, try to meet with other adoptive families. Their experience can be an invaluable asset. Consider taking a parenting class, researching preschool or childcare options and learn at least a few basic phrases in your child's native language. You should also make the most out of the time you have now; you will not have that luxury when your new addition arrives.
A stressed-out mommy can make for a stressed-out family. It is important to take care of yourself while you are preparing for your adoption. Infertility and grief alone can cause crisis-level stress. Add waiting, delays or postponements, and some days, you might have to make yourself get out of bed. Sometimes, it's good to play hooky and stay in bed all day.
If you look good, you'll feel good. Have your nails done. Get a pedicure or a massage. Have a makeover. Try a new haircut, or color your hair. Always wanted to be a blonde? Now's a great time to go for it!
Try wearing bright colors instead of muted or dark shades. Play dress-up; try on clothing in the latest styles or colors – even if you think it's not for you. You might be surprised. Update your wardrobe, and get rid of all those baggy, pregnant-wannabe clothes. Have "glamour photos" taken, or make your own calendar. Here are some other things that can help:
- Cook a favorite time-consuming meal instead of takeout.
- Don't overextend yourself, especially during the holidays.
- Go to quiet, dimly lit restaurants instead of loud, crowded bars and restaurants.
- Have quiet, intimate evenings with a few friends instead of large parties.
- If you host an annual event, see if a friend would be willing to host this year.
- Listen to jazz or classical music.
- Spend a day at a spa.
- Take a relaxing bubble bath.
- Take a small vacation.
- Unplug the phone. (This is a hard one if you are waiting for "the call.")
- Use candles at dinner.
- Visit a favorite childhood spot.
- Visit out-of-town friends or family.