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So You Want to Adopt?
A Beginner's Guide By Lisa A. Goldstein
To actually begin the adoption process, search for an agency in your area. Agencies "usually hold 'free' informational meetings on the type of adoption placements they offer," says Maxine Chalker, founder and executive director of Adoptions From the Heart, based in suburban Philadelphia. She suggests going to one or many of these to compare information and find the agency that meets your needs.
Some things to consider, courtesy of Adoptions From the Heart, are:
- How long has the agency been in business?
- How many children does the agency place a year, and what are the ages of the children?
- What are the qualifications and experience of the agency staff?
- How and when are fees collected?
- What are matching fees?
- What are the agency's requirements?
- What are the agency's policies?
- Are international placements done by the agency or referred to another?
Remember to take your time and do your homework. "Don't just go with anybody," says Conroy. "You're entering into a close relationship with lots of personal contact, time and resources spent over many months and even years, with follow-up visits required by [some] staes or countries."
Once you decide what agency to use, that agency will tell you what the next step is. At Chalker's agency, they utilize applications, interviews, study groups, home visits and educational courses and meetings. If they're doing an international adoption, there are additional paperwork and procedures to complete. They then wait for a referral from that country and usually complete their adoption overseas.
If choosing an agency isn't a big enough decision, you have to decide what kind of adoption you prefer. In addition to domestic versus international, newborn versus older child or foster care child, there's adoption of more than one child from a family, transracial, special needs and open versus closed.
"Many people make snap judgments about what type of adoption they want to pursue based on what they have 'heard' from others," says Connie Haessler, director of adoption at The Children's Home of Pittsburgh. "Many times, [these are] the nightmare stories from the media or from well-intended, but not so well-informed, friends or family members. People need to make their own decisions based on information they learn from adoption professionals."
To help with your decision, Conroy, who's in the process of adopting an eighth child, suggests asking the following questions:
- What kind of child do I want to parent or do I feel capable of parenting?
- How much money do we have to spend?
- How long do I want to wait for a child?
- Do I want contact with a birth mother or birth family?