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Discussing Adoption
How Should You Bring Adoption up to Your Spouse?
By Sue Poremba
(Alpha, 2005). But, she advises, don't approach adoption thinking that by adopting a child Murphy's Law will kick in and you'll get pregnant. "That's a myth," she says.
Couples should gather as much information as possible, Adamec says. Read books. Talk to support groups and people who have been through adoption and understand the complexity of the decision.
The preliminary discussions regarding adoption should be private between the couple. "Keep your conversations with your partner about this issue private and intimate," says April Masini, author of the advice column AskApril.com. "You want to build trust with your partner. Be honest and share all your feelings. You don't want to regret not getting everything out, regardless of the outcome."
Until you and your partner have made a final, mutual decision, avoid gossiping with friends or family. It is a decision that can only be made between you and your partner, and not only do you not want to erode the trust and privacy between a couple, but you also don't want other peoples' opinions to influence your thinking. Not every relative or friend will be receptive to the idea of adoption, and their comments shouldn't play a role in your decision.
Neil Gussman and Annalisa Crannell, a couple from Lancaster, Pa., decided they wanted to adopt a child. They were already parents of three daughters, but they wanted toadd on to their family through a program within the state.
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