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Adoption Step by Step
5 Tips to Know Before Starting the Adoption Process
By Teri Brown
Making the decision to adopt and then actually doing it can often be confusing and frustrating. The following tips from adoption experts and mothers who have been there can help guide you through the adoption process.
Will you go domestic? International? Open? Closed? What age of child are you interested in?
April Lee Schmidt, adoptive mother from Moundville, Ala., feels this step is a no-brainer. "If you cannot come to an agreement, you really should put your pursuit on hold," Schmidt says. "If you can not agree with your partner, how will you ever come to compromises or agree on other important issues that come up with child rearing?"
Jeffrey Kaskey, an attorney and the director of One World Adoption Services in Deerfield Beach, Fla., agrees. "It is crucial that a prospective adoptive family be on the same page with regard to the adoption and all of the elements thereto relating," Kaskey says. "For example, as a professional interviewing a prospective adoptive couple, I'm somewhat less than impressed when they get in an argument in my presence as to their adoption plan, i.e. ethnic issues, substance-exposure issues, etc. These concerns need to be addressed by the family and a consensus must be reached."
Kaskey suggests that you get recommendations from people who've adopted successfully and interview as many professionals as you can. "Get yourself on as many lists as you reasonably can, once you've decided that you feel comfortable with that agency or lawyer," Kaskey says. "If something doesn't feel right about a case which you're offered, you should be able to articulate your objection in a reasonable fashion or you will likely not hear back from that professional with another proposed match. For example, if someone rejects a case because of a bad vibe they have without being able to offer any concrete reason for such vibe, I won't feel great about having wasted my time and won't likely want to waste my time with them again."