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Going Solo
The Pursuit of Single Motherhood
By Teri Brown
Of course, how you will become a mother is probably foremost on your mind. You might be surprised to find out that even without a partner, your options aren't limited. Motherhood can be yours through adoption, donor sperm and insemination, or even the good old fashion way. What you really need is enough information and support to make the decision.
Jane Mattes is the director and founder of Single Mothers by Choice (SMC, www.singlemothersbychoice.org), a group formed in 1981 to help support women choosing to have a child on their own. She says the group consists of three main types of women: Thinkers, Tryers and Moms.
"The thinkers first need information ... about what the Single Mothers by Choice moms' experiences have been, and then they need the support to help them think through their options and to help them decide if this choice is for them," says Mattes. "The tryers need help finding good resources for donor insemination and adoption, and [they need] support while they go through the stressful time of trying to conceive or adopt. The moms need support to help them do the best possible job of parenting."
Mattes gives the following tips for those seriously considering pursuing single motherhood:
Join SMC early on in the "thinking" process, and talk to other members in your area and on the internet email groups. - Read Single Mothers by Choice: A Guidebook for Single Women Who Are Considering or Have Chosen Motherhood (Three Rivers Press, 1997) by Jane Mattes.
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