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Welcome Home, Adopted One
Easing Your Newly Adopted Child into the Family
By Keath Castelloe Low
Gray suggests having relatives and friends drop by meals for the first week or two rather than entertaining. "Children need a predictable, fun, calm home to bring down stress (and cortisol) levels," she says. "High stress reduces the capacity for bonding and attachment."
Newly adopted children do best with short grandparent visits, unless the grandparents are to be part of the childcare plan, Gray says. She also recommends parents wait about a month until the child has settled in and then gradually include family members. "Of course, cousins and aunts and uncles can stop by with a gift and for a brief (half-hour) visit after a couple of weeks," she says. "But keep things basic." She adds that overnight guests should be avoided. "These children are trying to figure out who their family is, what a family means and whether they are safe. This takes focus and energy."
Dr. Karen J. Foli, a registered nurse, and her husband, Dr. John R. Thompson, a board-certified practicing psychiatrist specializing in child and adolescent issues, are parents of both biological and adopted children. They are the authors of The Post-Adoption Blues: Overcoming the Unforeseen Challenges of Adoption