- my iParenting
- quick clicks
- iparenting adoption articles
- iparenting adoption q&a
- community & groups
- research baby names
- prepare a birth plan
- content channels
- ip channel rss feeds
- read birth stories
- read parenting stories
- recommended books
- e-newsletters
- safety recalls
- ip diaries
- ip store
- mom of the month
- dad of the month
- editor's letter
- letters to the editor
From Our Sponsors
- e-newsletters
- Sign up to receive our free weekly e-newsletters
- award-winning products
The iParenting Media Awards program helps parents find the best products for their families.
The Labor of Adoption
The Emotional Highs and Lows of Adopting a Baby
By Beth Erickson
"Then, they must sit and wait, and depending on the type of adoption, it could be a short wait, or it could be long," Bowe-Rietschel says. Once selected by a birth mom or once a child is selected internationally, the intensity of the experience continues. Those who've chosen domestic adoption must face the possibility that, at any time until termination of parental rights, the birth mom could change her mind. Likewise, there are risks of paperwork or foreign government delays and complications with international adoption, which also often includes visits to the country from which the child is being adopted.
"The emotional side of adoption is very intensive," Bowe-Rietschel says. "You really can't prepare for it. It's something that only extraordinary people could undertake."
What's more, there's really no typical scenario. Bowe-Rietschel knows of families that have received children within a year, and one particular family that was matched eight times before an adoption was successful. "The toll this process can take is extraordinary and to continue to have faith and belief in adoption after that much hurt is remarkable," she says.
Sometimes the emotional toll isn't realized until after the adotion is successful. Just as biological moms are subject to postpartum depression, adoptive moms have a similar phenomenon. It's called post-adoption depression syndrome and may include a combination of symptoms akin to depression.