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The First Day of School
Be Prepared and Legally Ready for Public School
By Yvette Pompa
Within the same vein is the importance of letting your child's new teacher know about your child. In the majority of public schools, parents are not allowed to "choose" the teacher. However, it can't hurt to sit with the school principal to voice your concerns; it might cause compassion to surface and your child to be placed with a well-matched teacher. For example, my husband and I sat down with our boys' principal and school guidance counselor and explained our adoption situation. We were quite selective about what we divulged for the sake of our child's rights and privacy. The meeting was quite beneficial.
Educators need to be privy of certain issues that older children recently adopted may reveal. If your teacher has a heads-up to certain emotional issues or behavioral traits, then the teacher can address them accordingly and not treat it as a behavior problem.
Joyce Carberry-Scott, LSW, adoption specialist and family advocate in Milton, Mass., agrees. "Not only have I had the pleasure of seeing dozens of families go through the excitement and challenges of enrolling their new children in school, but as an adoptive parent, I have faced the process head-on," she says. "Many educators simply do not get it when it comes to adoption, especially the adoption of older children. It's hard to believe that in 2005, schools are still having children do family trees i class. It is heartbreaking to look into your child's eyes and have him ask you which family he [or] she should use? Some adoption specialists will say that it should be a blended version, using birth and adoptive family. I strongly disagree. There's nothing like a project like this to cause an adopted child to feel different just when he [or] she is trying desperately to fit in. Another painful example is when a child is asked to bring in a baby picture of himself [or] herself. So many of our children do not have baby pictures of themselves. This is where the conversation to discuss which teacher will work best for your child does work."