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Six Lucky Siblings
An Older-Child Adoption Story
By Kelly Burgess
Shelia Dutton is either completely insane or should be nominated for sainthood. She went from a very happy empty nest to an extremely full nest of children adopted from overseas. Not only did she adopt, she adopted the unadoptable: older boys and girls, at least one with behavioral problems, another diagnosed with a mysterious condition called "a moronity in the ogliphrenia," and all of them with backgrounds that were completely unknown.
What's even more amazing is how she has coped with the challenges that have cropped up since the adoption. With grace, common sense, firmness and love, she is teaching her "new" children to adapt to a way of life that is completely foreign to them. They come from a place where there are few jobs, and thus no work ethic, and very little religious faith. It has been said that an American has a greater chance of winning the lottery than an older child from Russia has of being adopted. This is the story of six who had their lucky numbers chosen.
Then in April of 2001, a woman approached Sheila at a show. She said she didn't even know what had prompted her to talk to Sheila, but she wanted to tell her that she had just adopted a little girl from Kazakhstan and during the process had found out that the child had four siblings left in the orphanage. She gave Sheila photos of the children and told her she hoped she would think about adopting them.
"I was so exhausted from the performance and was completely floored by her request," says Dutton. "I thanked her but told her that we were too old and too busy, and this was no environment for a bunch of kids. But I did tell her if she wanted to leave the pictures I'd see what I could do."
The next morning Sheila woke up with the children on her mind and couldn't shake it. In her heart she knew that no one would ever adopt them if she didn't do it, because they were too old and had been in the orphanage too long. She waited for two days hoping the feeling would go away and then told Dean what was on her mind. At first he said he didn't really want to do it, because the house was so quiet and he was enjoying this time so much.
"I understood him so well," she says. "We raised seven children, and I remember the last driver's license and the last Eagle Scout project and each time thinking, 'Whew, I'm glad to finally be done with this.' Now we were talking about starting over, and we weren't sure we had it in us."
In the end, their sense that this was meant to be was stronger than their misgivings. Sheila and Dean gathered their seven children and their spouses and told them what they were planning to do. All were very supportive and offered to help in any way they could.