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Adoption First Days
Tips to Help Everyone Relax and Enjoy the New Family Member
By Teri Brown
"Bringing a baby home through adoption can be stressful because you may not have had the typical nine months of preparation," says Platz. "In addition, new parents have anxiety and stress related to parenting a new child. Adoptive parents tend to placed additional pressure on themselves – trying to be perfect parents."
The first few days you have your child home may not run as smoothly as you would like, causing extra stress and pressure. It's important to remember this is often caused by parents' own expectations of themselves.
Alison Sparks Pluntz, a licensed independent social worker with Children's Home Society & Family Services in St. Paul, Minn., says that the change in routine is often what causes the stress for the family.
"Everyone will experience a change in routine, less sleep and the parents have the additional responsibilities (and joys) of caring for a child," Pluntz says. "Adding to your family through adoption has the additional stress experienced by the child coping with grief and loss while trying to adjust to his or her new environment. Your baby or young toddler will be grieving the loss of their former caretakers and, in the case of international adoption, their country."
Plunts says that as an adopted child enters the home, he'll be exposed to new sights, sounds, smells, food, routines and people and this can be a very overwhelming experience. In addition, you are learning about your baby or young toddler and may not know the specific soothing techniques that work for your child. "It can take time for everyone to get to know each other and for your child to adjust to their new environment," Pluntz says.