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Adoption First Days
Tips to Help Everyone Relax and Enjoy the New Family Member
By Teri Brown
There is nothing quite as rewarding as bringing your adopted baby or child home for the first time. Many couples have been waiting ages for that very moment and have everything planned out. Other times adoptive parents have very little notice before their child comes home. Either way, those first days can be a combination of delight, joy and overwhelming stress.
Stephanie Rowe, an author from Beaverton Ore., knows how stressful having your dreams unexpectedly come true can be. Four days after the Rowes turned in their final paperwork, they got a call telling them they had a baby and needed to pick her up right away.
"We were completely unprepared," Rowe says. "Not a single baby item in the house, my husband was out of town, and we had no clue about the whole baby thing. But the adoption coordinator gave us the best advice. She said that she had taken babies home from the hospital and had them sleep in a Tupperware bin for the night, and they were just fine. Babies are flexible! Keep them fed, clean and warm, and everything else will come. And you know what? She was right."
Rowe quickly prioritized her time and gathered together what she would need. "Once that initial shock is over, I do recommend importing help if you can," Rowe says. "Grandma, friend, cousin – someone who will stay with you for a couple weeks and help you out. It makes a big difference to have some support around to do the errands, watch the baby when you crash and to show you how to give a bath."
Kimberly Platz holds a master's degree in psychology and is a district supervisor for Adoptions from the Heart, a full-service adoption agency on the East Coast. She says the lack of prep time often brings extra stress.