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Adoption Ages and Stages
What to Expect By Sabrina Glidden
(Little, Brown, 2000) by Rose Lewis to Jacqueline from the beginning. "They provide simple explanations that are appropriate to this age," she says. Most important to Champnella is that children love being read to, and this is one more way of "teaching her about her world." IdentityIn The Adoption Experience (Silver Burdett Pr., 1985), author Steven Nickman recommends explaining a child's adoption to him between the ages of 6 and 8. By this time the child has usually become established and feels secure in the family and will not feel displaced by the information. Too much information before this age may spark fears of abandonment. Waiting until the adolescent years to disclose the facts may cause lowered self-esteem for the teen and diminish faith in their parents, according to Nickman.
When a child begins to understand more about his adoption, this has an effect on his identity, according to information from the NAIC. While children may be aware that they were adopted at an early age, they will not understand the meaning of that until later in their development. Having the facts in place allows them to form a perception of their world and their place in it. Their identity formation begins at around 6 and grows to more complex structures in their adolescent years.
It seems that the primary methods parents can use to help their children through every stage is communication and patience. Promoting openness in questions and in the expression of feelings allows children to follow their natural process of maturing while identifying with their particular life circumstances in a healthy, well-adjusted manner.