Adoption First Days

Tips to Help Everyone Relax and Enjoy the New Family Member

By Teri Brown

"Having a supportive family is important when parenting through adoption; however, parents should consider issues and concerns around attachment," Pluntz says. "In the first weeks after the adoption, it is important that only the parents are meeting all of the child's primary needs. This will make it clear to the baby or young toddler that you are the primary attachment figures in their life."

Pluntz suggests that you try to limit the number of people and time that family members spend visiting – especially in the beginning. Also, it is important to let your family know that they may not have an opportunity to hold your child on their first visit, but after some time has passed, they will have plenty of opportunities to shower your child with affection.

"Even though it can be difficult for family members to understand, let them know that they can help you in other ways such as preparing food, caring for older children in the home or offering to help out around the house, as this will give you even more time to spend with the child," Pluntz says. "Your baby or young toddler has just experienced many new things in a very short time frame and so have you! Your child will pick up on the stress that you may be experiencing so it is important to create as soothing an environment as possible. Try to give yourselves plenty of opportunities to rest each day and allow your child time to acclimate themselves to their new environment and family. Also, slowing down the family routines will provide more bonding opportunities between parent and child."

Want to see more?

• Welcome Home, Adopted One: Easing Your Newly Adopted Child into the Family
• Attachment Disorders: Surviving Attachment Disorders in Adopted Children
• Bonding with Your Adopted Baby: 10 Post-adoption Tips
• Check out our Article Library.
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