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The Labor of Adoption
The Emotional Highs and Lows of Adopting a Baby
By Beth Erickson
Bowe-Rietschel recalls adoptive moms who have experienced depression, guilt, exhaustion and even physical manifestations of illness after placement. "People have the belief that once the child is in your home, it's done," she says. "But truly, it's just beginning."
In addition to experiencing depression, "adoptive parents have to struggle with so many more issues than your typical child development," Bowe-Rietschel says. "There will always be a unique part to their story. At any point, the fact that the child is adopted could pop up to be an issue. It's a journey. It's one that's almost its own little world. Your child is just a little different because she or he is adopted. Adoptive parents need a support center, resources, friends. No one can understand the issues better than those who've been there."
As for my family, our journey is ongoing. From being at the birth of a child who was to be our first son, feeding him his first bottle, growing to love him after daily visits for seven weeks and having the birth mom change her mind, to getting the most precious gift of our son in a week and a half, it's not been easy.
As for our daughter, when she was almost 3 months old, termination of parental rights occurred, but weeks later there were paternity issues raised, and we are still in limbo. She is now 9 months old, attached to Mom and Dad, loves her brother beyond belief and is loved back more than we could ever say. She is our daughter in every sense except legally. And our labor continues.
