Expect the Unexpected
Preparing for International AdoptionBy Sue Marquette Poremba
Americans tend to be impatient and they want the process to happen fast, Uekert says. Or they are desperate to find a child, so they attempt to take shortcuts around the system. "Unfortunately there is a baby market out there," she says. Working around the system rather than with it could lead to nightmare situations involving child trafficking.
The most important thing is to educate yourself as much as possible before you begin the adoption process, as well as throughout. Talk to other parents who have adopted. Ask questions. Keep abreast of changes in regulations. "If you go into the process heads up, you should be fine," Uekert says. "If you go in with blinders on, then you could have trouble."
| Laurie Hurley had already adopted a child from China and thought she was prepared for a second adoption. After all, she knew what to expect. She had learned a few lessons through her first adoption, like the orphanage in China did not accept travelers' checks and that she needed some help at home those first days. For the second adoption, she and her husband weren't eligible for another China adoption (age restrictions), so they decided to adopt from Kazakhstan. "The children are half Chinese, and we wanted our daughters to have something in common," she says. The second adoption experience was not what Hurley expected. The different countries had very different regulations and procedures. While China was straightforward, the second adoption was a nightmare of delays, misinformation and illegal activities within the Kazakhstan agency facilitating the adoption. From the second adoption, Hurley learned a number of lessons that she thinks all prospective parents should heed. Here are a few: - Check out the agency thoroughly.
- Be prepared that the child might not blend into your family easily, especially older children.
- Have a tremendous amount of patience.
- Be ready for the unexpected.
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