Expect the Unexpected

Preparing for International Adoption

By Sue Marquette Poremba

Adopting a child, especially via an international adoption, is not a decision made lightly. After all, adoption is costly in both time and money. Yet potential parents are often unprepared for the important parts of the process, starting at the very beginning with the selection of the agency.

"A lot of times, people don't research the agency at all," says Brenda Uekert, doctorate in sociology, senior court research associate at the National Center for State Courts and author of 10 Steps to Successful International Adoption: A Guided Workbook for Prospective Parents (Third Avenue Press, 2007). "Agencies can have their own set of rules."

Many prospective parents don't realize that they can use agencies from any state (the exception is South Korea, which requires residency in the same state as the agency). Uekert recommends getting background information on a number of agencies and asking for references. "Talk to parents who adopted from the same country that you plan to use," she says. To get the most of your adoption experience, it is important to find an agencywith which you feel comfortable.

Preparation is key, says Kim Garner, owner of the Community Adoption Center in Wisconsin and the mother of three children by adoption. "Good preparation and information can help everyone in the adoption process to be comfortable and confident," she says. "You also need to be in a position where you trust the professionals who have experience and expertise in this area and feel they can do a good job for you."

When dealing with international adoptions, it is best to go into it expecting the unexpected. Leza Raffel of Abington, Pa., adopted a child from Russia in 1999. "There were a lot of postponements with the process," she says. "First we were told June, then July and finally November."

Countries can and do change the rules at their own discretion. They might decide to slow down the adoption process, limit the number of children available for adoption or even halt adoptions altogether with little to no warning. For example, if a country isn't getting post-adoption reports as requested, it may cut off adoptions. Or countries can decide to change eligibility requirements, as China is doing, which could suddenly disqualify prospective parents who thought they were nearing the end of the adoption process.

Want to see more?

• Hague Convention on Intercountry Adoptions: What Does It Mean for International Adoptions?
• Check out our Article Library.
• The Ideal Family: Changes in China Adoptions
• The Trip of a Lifetime: What to Bring When You Pick up Your Adopted Child
• Talk about it!