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Home › Articles › Adoptive Parenting › Knowing Their History

Knowing Their History

Children of Open Adoption as Teenagers

By Sue Marquette Poremba

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Today's teenagers have grown up with cable television and the Internet, things they take for granted.Some of those teenagers may be taking something else for granted open adoption.

Open adoptions have become more common over the past 20 years, which means that the majority of American-born and -adopted teenagers at least have access to information about their biological parents. There is no mystery about who they are and where they come from.

The Teen Years Are Tough Enough
"Research shows that adopted children are at a higher risk for emotional, behavioral and learning problems than non-adopted kids," says Dr. David Kirschner, psychologist, psychoanalyst and author of Adoption: Uncharted Waters (Juneau Press, 2006). "Adolescence is the developmental period when adopted children and families are at their most vulnerable. For example, adoptees may overreact to rejection, real or perceived, even more than typical adolescents, and they may act-out sexually, identifying with their fantasy of the birth parents and how they were conceived."

However, Dr. Kirschner adds, a teen who is part of an open adoption tends to have a stronger self-image, and with the elimination of the secrets that come with a closed adoption, there are few unrealistic fantasies.

A Special Bond
The teenage years are a time for self-exploration. Every teen will have questions that parents find uncomfortable to answer. For teens who were adopted in closed adoptions, the questions may have no answers, and they can't legally begin to search for their birth parents until age 18. It can be a frustrating time.

Teens who have been adopted through an open adoption can go on with their own life, says Michaelina Bendig, an adoption consultant from Adoptions from the Heart in Wynnewood, Pa. "They'll always have questions," she says. "And as teens, they are in a safe place to ask. The more they know when they are younger, the easier it will be."

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