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Naming the Baby
When There's Disagreement, What's the Solution?
By Mardie Caldwell, COAP
The process is very simple but may be confusing for first-time adoptive parents who don't know what they can and can't do. This is why you should seek the help of an experienced adoption professional and why you should also seek information about any questions you may have about the adoption process.
I actually experienced this situation myself in my own adoptions. With the adoption of my son, although his birth mother had named him at birth, we had a family name we wanted to use. So we named our son after my husband's father and added two middle names—the first and second names given him by his birth mother. She didn't ask us to do this, but we wanted our son to have this gift from his birth mother with him throughout his life.
Now, both of our children with biological families have two middle names. Our daughter's family did ask us to do this as part of the agreement. They wanted to choose her middle names, one of them being their last name. It suited us just fine, and we were all happy with the decision.
One humorous drawback is having such a long name when you need to get their attention during some moment of family chaos: Veronica Michelle Jamison Caldwell, get over here now and clean this mess up. All in all, adopted children with two middle names feel special and have part of their biological family to carry with them throughout life. I feel this is an important gift to give a child, but the decision is very personal for each adoptive family. Whatever our decision, it should not cause you stress or discomfort in your adoption.
