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Finally Yours

When the Adoption Is Final

By Jessica Gold

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The baby is here! There is nothing more spectacular then adopting a new baby and bringing them into your home. Your life changes so much more than you can ever imagine. In my case, I felt a sense of completion when my husband and I adopted our son, like that one piece, that one small part of my life that was missing, was suddenly filled. I went around saying, "I'm so lucky to have him. Anything else is simply a bonus."

Not Quite
It's true. For the first six months of having this child in your home taking over your thoughts, your actions and your heart you focus simply on being a mom, yet in the back of your mind, there is always that little flicker of something you cannot describe. Maybe it's worry. Maybe it's doubt. Maybe it's that desire for closure, a completeness that isn't achieved until the adoption is finalized by the courts and legally yours forever.

Finalization. Finality. Completion. The end. Until a judge signs his name on a very important legal document under the watchful eye of the stenographer and bailiff, that baby can be taken away from you by your agency. They assume all custody and legalities for those first six months.

This was a very stressful aspect when our son came home. He was ours, and yet he wasn't. Our social worker called for post-placement visits. They were scheduled with plenty of time to dress Connor up and give him a good nap beforehand, just so he was cheery and smiling and enjoying the visit. It all made me wonder about those agencies that just "pop in." How stressful must that be for the adoptive parents?

I'm a mom who somewhat appears organized when I leave the home the diaper bag is not missing anything; it probably weighs close to Connor's weight. I leave it in the car, but I have everything

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