The Adoption Homestudy

Necessary Evil or
Helpful Experience?

By Michele St. Martin

"Just the word 'homestudy' upset me," says Tiffany Steinberg of Philadelphia."Why should we have to submit to a stranger's scrutiny in order to form our family? After everything we'd been through trying to have a baby, this seemed like the ultimate invasion, something else to suffer through just because we are infertile and want kids." Steinberg and her husband, Nathan, weren't scared as much as indignant.

Maria Lopez, a single mom of two who lives in Tucson, Ariz., was absolutely terrified that she'd say or do the wrong thing during a homestudy meeting. Jonathan Norburg of Minneapolis says that his wife worried for months that something in her past might prevent them from being approved to adopt. JoAnn* and Mike* of Valley Park, Mo., were apprehensive about how much personal information they might have to share with a social worker. New Yorkers Annie Giovanni and Julian Lujack were generally nervous and unsure what to expect.

Throw a child already in the family into the mix, and there's even more to worry about. Lopez's daughter, Elena, had told her mom that she didn't want to give up her status as the only child in their family, and Lopez worried about what the 5-year-old would say to the social worker who did the homestudy. "I was thrilled when Elena said that being an only child wasn't really that great, and it might be nice to have a little sister," Lopez says. Elena now has a sister, 1-year-old Gabriela, who was adopted from Guatemala.

And JoAnn says that her worry turned to pride when her oldest son told the social worker that he looked forward to another family member to bond with and be close to. He has become very close to 3-year-old Jade, adopted as a toddler from China.

The emotions that these families experienced are common ones for first-time adoptive parents, according to Catie Morish, who has more than 10 years' experience as an adoption social worker and is herself a parent through adoption. "The adoption homestudy process is often misunderstood in fact, the term itself is misleading," Morish says. "Prospective parents worry that a stranger will judge them and find them wanting, when in fact the process should be helpful to them and even interesting.

"Social workers want to bring together children who need families with families who need children," Morish says."We want to educate potential adopters, to support them and to be a resource to them. The most rewarding part of my job is helping to form new families. I'm not looking for perfection or a spotless house, just people who are capable of being good parents. I've never had a perfect family and I've never had to turn a family down."

Want to see more?

• The Final Step: Post Adoption Reporting
• We're Home! Now What? Transitioning into a Family
• Waiting Children: Foster Care and Adoption Basics
• Finally Yours: When the Adoption Is Final
• Check out our Article Library.
• Talk about it!