Difficult Decisions

Adoption After Infertility

By Laura Lyster-Mensh

For a couple experiencing infertility, adoption can seem like the end of the road. Each increment of time, cash and medical procedure can make a process that began very privately seem increasingly public and interactive. For a family who has usually been under a medical microscope during diagnosis and treatment of infertility, beginning the process of adoption can feel painfully familiar.

Some couples are open to adoption early on in the process. For others, it takes longer. "There is no right answer as to when to move on to adoption," says Dr. Seth E. Katz, an OB/GYN at the North Carolina Center for Reproductive Medicine.

Diane Clapp, medical information officer for RESOLVE (a national education, support and advocacy group for people dealing with infertility), says there are certain "benchmarks" when couples tend to make these decisions. Finances can play a large part.

During infertility treatment, initial consultations, lab tests and diagnostic procedures are just the beginning. Hormones, intrauterine insemination (IUI), surgeries and assisted reproduction techniques (ART) can be expensive and offer no guarantees. Although good insurance coverage pays for some of these options, most couples end up spending money out of pocket that they had planned to use raising their children.

Laura Lundberg* of Alexandria, Va., who experienced five rounds of artificial insemination (AI) and one of in vitro fertilization (IVF), advises families not to spend all their money on infertility treatments and have none left for adoption.

Another reason cited for changing tracks and exploring adoption is the physical toll of infertility treatments. Women express concern about the long-term health impacts of hormones and other medicines used to enhance fertility. Many talk about the invasive nature of surgeries and other procedures.

Want to see more?

• Seven Days to a Miracle: A Story of Adoption
• To Protect, Love and Nurture: The Journey from Single Person to Adoptive Family
• The End of the Road: Letting Go of Biological Parenthood
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