All About Birth Mothers

Learning About Those Who Place Their Children for Adoption

By Teri Brown

Birth mothers, those that placed their children for adoption, come in a variety of shapes, sizes and situations. They come from all racial and socioeconomic backgrounds, and there are many different factors that contribute to the decision of placing their child. But there are some similarities most are between the ages of 18 and 25, and all are facing, for one reason or another, an untimely pregnancy.

Eileen Garvin, a 38-year-old mother of two from Turlock, Calif., placed her child for adoption in 1993. The child was a product of an affair, and Garvin felt it unfair to the child to bring her up in her current situation. "I knew that if I kept my child that she would not have a father that loved her unconditionally, if at all," Garvin says. "She was going to be obviously different in appearance than my husband, so she would have to live with that her whole life."

Garvin placed her child with a family who had two other adopted children and feels confident in her choice. "The best gift you ever give your child is to give it a home with loving and caring parents," she says.

Karen Moriarty is a licensed clinical psychologist and the author of Baby Richard: A Four-Year-Old Comes Home (Open Door Publishing, 2004). She counseled the family and the child in the 1995 landmark adoption case that led to changes in the adoption laws in more than 30 states. Her experience in working with birth mothers has given her a unique understanding of a group of women that are often misunderstood.

Her work confirms her belief that even those mothers who feel ambivalence over an unwanted and unplanned pregnancy express a strong emotional connection to their babies. "Women of all ages, from the 15-year-old unwed mother to the midlife, mature woman surprised by her late pregnancy, express a strong connection to their babies from early on, soon after conception," Moriarity says. "In my opinion, there is no stronger bond in our human existence than that between a birth mother and her child. This bond is born of biological, psychological, emotional and social factors."

Moriarity finds the main motivator that prompts a woman to place her child is the mother's belief that she is unable to raise the child in an appropriate manner. Most of the time, this perception is based upon the life stage or financial resources of the woman. Sometimes the father denies responsibility for the child, though statistics show that this is less of a factor than it used to be, because single motherhood is more socially acceptable.

Want to see more?

• Open Minds and Open Hearts: A Glance at Open Adoption
• Perfect Timing: When to Tell Your Child About His Birth Mother
• Maybe a Baby? Navigating the Infant Adoption Maze
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