Bonding with Your Adopted Baby

10 Post-adoption Tips

By Nancy Vondrak

If possible, familiar sheets, toys, bottles and foods should be brought home with the baby to try to replicate his former environment. Sometimes this may not be possible, depending on the child's situation. When the Melers adopted David, he had been living in a Russian orphanage. "We could bring nothing from the orphanage home with us," Mary Meler says. "He got everything new."

9. Remember that dads are important, too!
Paul Meler was able to take a week off from work after they brought David home, and he encourages fathers to make time for their babies. "The parent that is working needs to make time to bond with the child," Meler says. "Kids need to have that family group to develop security."

10. Realize that every issue is not an adoption issue.
"Some of the baby's experiences may not be adoption issues," Dr. Schneps says. "For instance, a fussy baby can be colicky or have a food allergy. You need to look at the whole scope of the situation."

The first night that the Melers spent together was a difficult one. "David was chewing on books," Paul Meler says. "It was a hard night. We eventually realized that he was just teething!"

Couples need to know that the bonding and attachment process with their baby takes time, and they may not always be "on the same page."

"All of these children are from God, and parents learn," Mock says. "Kids don't come with instructions!"