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Off the Beaten Path

A Different Road To Motherhood

Part Two

By Kathleen Sorabella

I suspected it would be difficult for us to think about hosting another exchange student again, so prior to Daniel's departure, I booked us through the summer with short-term summer students. Knowing he wouldn't be overly thrilled, I waited about a week before breaking this piece of news to Carl. We both found that although we missed Daniel terribly, the once consuming loss had eased now that we were able to see ourselves in this new found parenting role and loved it.

I loved being needed, I loved waking our temporary children up in the morning and saying goodnight at the end of each day. Even freedom somehow felt different. Whenever any of our host children spent a night with friends or my family and we were alone for the night, we felt this overwhelming sense of freedom. Carl and I knew that we had a limited amount of time to spend alone together without a teenager at foot, and it made the time we spent together a little more meaningful than it had been in several years. At the same time, we couldn't wait until he or she arrived home again or talk to them the next day to find out all about what they did and if they had fun.

In all of our hosting relationships we rode the roller coaster of expected ups and downs that any relationship experiences, some worse than others. The opportunity to host was the validation we needed to confirm that our infertility wasn't divine intervention telling us we shouldn't be parents. It motivated us to apply for adoption more aggressively through the Department of Social Services as well as Catholic Charities.

Want to see more?

• Waiting Children: Foster Care and Adoption Basics
• The End of the Road: Letting Go of Biological Parenthood
• Difficult Decisions: Adoption After Infertility
• Talk about it!

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