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My Daughter Is in China

Adopting After Infertility

By Michele St. Martin

We learned that more important than those dreams are experiencing the core of parenting: loving and nurturing a child, helping her grow strong and healthy and uniquely herself. It took infertility treatment to help us realize that it isn't important that our child be ours biologically, as long as she is ours forever. We were joyful and hopeful when we made the decision to build our family through adoption.

As we got close to making the decision to adopt, I asked Jonathan if he was worried that he wouldn't love an adopted child as much as one that was ours biologically. No, he said, he was worried that he would carry a walletfull of pictures, and wouldn't be able to talk about anything but her. I couldn't have asked for a better answer.

You may have noticed that I've been referring to our future child as "her." After researching and discussing our options, and after much soul searching, we decided to adopt a baby girl from China. While adoption was our second choice, it definitely isn't second best! For us, it's a marvel to know that atthe end of this journey is a baby who will be our daughter. Our decision to adopt from China is a source of great joy and great peace. I don't think about getting pregnant anymore, because I'm focused on our daughter, who will come from China. I look at Asian women and girls on the street and wonder, will our daughter look like her?

Want to see more?

• Go the Distance: Exploring International Adoption
• Domestic Adoption: Building a Family
• Difficult Decisions: Adoption After Infertility
• Talk about it!