quick clicks

iparenting adoption articles

iparenting adoption q&a

message boards

research baby names

prepare a birth plan

content channels

ip channel rss feeds

read birth stories

read parenting stories

recommended books

e-newsletters

safety recalls

ip diaries

ip store

mom of the month

dad of the month

editor's letter

letters to the editor

Domestic Adoption

Building a Family

By Michele St. Martin

"Even though we are required to send letters and photos only twice a year now, we still send them every few months," says Tami. "We enjoy writing to Alex's birth parents." Tami and Kris hear from Alex's birth mother, but not his birth father. "There wasn't much time to get to know Alex's birth parents before he was born. Since then, we have had a pretty good relationship with his birth mom. She is a wonderful young woman, and we care a lot about her."

Fear of the birth mother changing her mind is a major concern in domestic adoptions. "I don't think there is an adoptive parent who doesn't have that worry," says Tami. "YES!" echoes Vicki. "Especially since we knew [the birth mother], she knew where we lived, and she knows my family."

While the adoption isn't recorded until the mother relinquishes her legal rights, and many changes of heart do occur before this happens, the fears of these women did not come true.

Sara's new son, Josh, was free for adoption due to termination of his birth parents' parental rights. Since their rights had been terminated, the county was Josh's guardian until he was adopted into the Chase family.

Adoption has been such a positive experience that all three families are in the process of adopting again. "We thought that our family was complete with Josh," says Chase, who adopted a 7-year-old boy. "But Josh has been talking about a little sister, something that our daughter also is in favor of. And we all agreed: Why not add to our family again?"

Want to see more?

• The End of the Road: Letting Go of Biological Parenthood
• Who Are All These People? Your Guide to Who's Who During Adoption
• Waiting Children: Foster Care and Adoption Basics
• Check out our Article Library.
• Talk about it!